Need to say "I Love You" ...

This post is in continuation to my earlier post Right time to say 'I Love You'.

As ABH mentioned the discussion on this topic is really never ending :) and it generates so much of energy in each one of us. After reading my previous post, Rajani mentioned that my post seems to be incomplete to her as I have not mentioned when is the right time to say "I Love You".

Yes, I had left the post incomplete on purpose. Since the right time to say "I Love You" is very much subjective to each and every person. The right time for one person may not the right time for another person, but there is/will be always a right time which needs to be realized by each lover.

It was really nice to hear and read the comments as I duly respect each ones views on this subject. Its their right to think on their own which brings out the real thing rather than just accepting others views.

Let me just put forth my view on "Love". Many people have opposed and did not like my outlook on Love for various reasons. Love as such is a very powerful emotion and when broken down to minute detailing, it emerges as sheer need. I know its very difficult to accept Love as just need. But this need is very beautiful in nature when understood and its very natural.

Let me try to explicate further on this. Why is that we look out for love only during particular phase of our life span? Why is that we love a particular person , not whomever we meet ? Why is that only few fall in love not everyone ?.

Without our consciousness there exists a requirement list or a specification document about the kind of person whom we want within ourselves. It is discovered that the need for a opposite sex at the right time and right age is very much essential and natural. We accept someone as our life partner only when there exists a need and also this person satisfies most items in our requirement. That's the reason we fall in love with only a particular person not everyone we meet.

Next to think over is "Is there a need to explicitly express our love"?.

Human mind as such is very clever and cunning. There is nothing wrong with it, its very nature is like that. Without our conciousness mind tends to overrule us in many ways.

As for my experiences goes, there are two different phases/stages in a lovers life. They can be called as pre-love phase and post-love phase :).

Pre-Love phase is stage in which both the parties involved have not verbally communicated about loving each other. It is also called as a fairy tale phase, where in everything looks fancy and lovable without much of reality involved. During this phase, most of the times without our conscious the mind tends to be faking it out and thus hiding our true nature in order to be

in the good books of the other person. That's the reason the so called lover even eats those vegetarian foods even though he hates it to the core :), he says she is beautiful in that gown even though its so obviously awkward :). This phase is kind of masking phase, where in the true nature is masked and impossible to understand the other person.

The transition from Pre-Love to Post-Love is initiated by commitment. This commitment is nothing but in verbal or any other form of clear communication that they are in relationship with each other. When this commitment is done, both the involved parties tend to take the other person granted as they feel to be related. Then the mind relaxes and try to be in its natural state instead of faking. This is when the true nature of the person is revealed.

Only in this post-Love phase actual bonding and understanding of the person takes place.

Right time to say "I Love you"

Its quite interesting that there are few subjects which are difficult to understand since it formulates into totally new dimensions when heard the same from different people. I am sure that every one agrees with me when i say one of those complex word is "LOVE".

This word seems to be ever green and will last as long as this world exists. This word is rated to be one of the most extensively used word in the human civilization. You can never find a good book or epic without its depiction or can you find a poem/prose without describing it or you might not heard of an interesting speech without a mention about the above word.

I always wonder about the actual nature of this word. Is this word really so powerful ? Is this word really mean so much to all ? or its just an hype surrounding this word that gives an illusionary feeling when its used ?.

I had taken this word to different levels with different people till date and obtained very contradicting answers which made it much more interesting to analyze further. When this topic was discussed with few spiritual (fucked up) minds, the results seemed be quite disturbing. And the answers were not that comfortable. They came up with an quite straight forward answer that "Love is nothing but a need". Love arises only when there is a particular need for it or else it doesn't, May be thats the reason only few fall in love.

Its much more interesting when you bring up this topic with Virtual lovers. Virtual lovers are those who love the other person virtually with the assumption that the other person are also in love with them.

They came up with different versions of Love and on a broader level they can be categorized into "Love at first sight" and "Love after multiple sights".

The first group believes that love is true only when it spawns at the very first sight and the latter disagrees with the first that love only blossoms like a flower with each meetings.

I have few friends of mine who heard angels singing and stars spinning around around them when they find their girl/boy for the very first time. And i have another case wherein they are friends for years now and he/she still feels that his/her love is still a bud and waiting for it to bloom without any effort.

But the most common factor with both of these group is the problem with expressing their love. Whether the love is at first sight or after multiple sights they have unsolvable question in front of them and that is when is the right time to express love , when is the right time to say "I Love You ".

Signs ...

There are so many things in life for which there doesn't exits any explanation, they cannot be shelfed and brought under a particular logic pattern. You just act without any self reasoning, its one of those times where in the ever active mind takes the back seat and dissipates into thin air.

One of those acts was me shutting myself today into my coffin for more than 24 hours with a occasional word or two with the outside world. You sometimes feel so much in content when cut out totally from the outside world doing things without even knowing what you are doing. Sounds crazy isn't it :).

Its so astonishing and interesting when you start looking out for those signs. After reading through lot of works on signs and how it functions in conducting the worldly affairs, i somehow tend to come across them very often.

Last Saturday when i met my friend out of nowhere he read an article by OSHO, talking about the play "Waiting for GODOT"and today i receive an email from an unknown source about GODOT.

They say its a sign, "Never ignore when something comes your way without your effort, there is something in it for you". I started looking out the source of the play "Waiting for Godot"and even downloaded the play.

As i am half way through watching the play, there was a new mail popup box at the corner of my notepad. The pop read "Waiting for Godot". I was shocked and opened the outlook to read what exactly was the mail about. It was an invitational mail from Ranga Shankara for Samuel Becket's play "Waiting for Godot" tomorrow evening.

I decided i will go with the signs.

A Virgin Xmas Album ...

Yes, when you listen you will feel the freshness it brings within you. The freshness which makes it stand out from all those other Christian albums thats gets piled in the shelves every year during this time. The music is so refreshing with a fusion of traditional Christian music, classical and western.

If we are listening today to this album its only because of one person. Its just that one person who listened to this music even before it is composed. Its the shear determination and discipline that got him this far. I know he can reach much greater heights if he is more serious and take things to completion.

This genius is none other than our "Sunil Koshy", a born singer. I am glad he has released this soothing album in his own production. I personally know how much effort that has gone through in getting this album out. The other best part of this album is the opportunity he has created for so many aspiring singers who were so happy in getting their names in the album.

Wishing Koshy & his team a grand success.

The burning curtain

It’s very difficult to reason out everything in life, there are so many things that does not confine within the boundaries of logic and reasoning’s. This is kind of strange what I am going to mention, every time I have high fever I am accompanied by a dream and the strangest part of it is that I get the same dream every time. As we have an indicator for everything around us, do does I have a biological indicator within me. Every time I get this dream and woke up it is that the temperature is high and it’s about to reside.

We used to live in a very small house during our childhood but it’s one of the beautiful homes I have ever lived. There used to be a loft running along the living room, the only room. My mom used to cover this loft esthetically with cleanly stitched frilled curtains from her old sarees and it used to look so beautiful and also there exists a lane of elephants painted to the front rim of the loft.

Every time when I used to have fever I used to dream about this curtain on fire and the climax would be me screaming that the curtains are getting charred with fire and wake up. I can detail out each and every thing in that dream because I have been dreaming the same one from last 25 years or more but as things change so thus this dream. I am just writing this one waking up from my fresh dream having high fever J , kind of crazy isn’t.

My mom is scolding me as I am writing this post, what the hell iam doing at 3am with fever and typing a useless post rather than having rest. But I want to cherish each and every details of my new dream. I don’t know whether it’s a boon or bane but I can remember my dreams very clearly with minute details. I took all the pain in writing this since it’s such a pleasure to put down things when they are very fresh and later on the heat is lost. I can feel the heat in my eyes as I write down these lines.

I wake up from my dream sweating heavily just few minutes back and it took few minutes to realize that it’s just a dream. In my new dream J I was chased and bitten everywhere by this huge black Doberman dog. This dog was the one that used to live in our neighborhood J in my childhood and it had hardly spared anyone in our street and was finally made to rest by its owner when he was attacked. I was fighting helplessly with the dog and somehow end up myself in a grave yard. The next scene in my dream is me eating the meat which is completely blunt and half cooked. It was kind of salty and I was not enjoying it. I was also accompanied with few others who are total strangers to me but serving me with fresh pieces of human meat. And when I try to have big bite my tooth broke and I cry out in pain that’s when I woke up and came out of my dream world. It took me few minutes to realize that it’s just a dreamJ.

I narrated my dream to my mom and she was taken back and emptied the room to fetch some more hot water whispering to herself “Amma Kadavala (oh GOD)”.

Galbaski

There are very few days in our life where in whatever we do turns out to be gold, we find results in all the things we do. Most of the things in our ever pending list gets resolved so soothingly and makes you believe that we should always act on our intuitions.

Yesterday was one of those countable days where in all my actions were driven by just intuition and the results were very convincing in all the ways. After finishing most of my works i felt i should watch a play today. It was already a couple of months that I had visited Ranga shankara, but it was already 7pm and the play starts at 7.15pm. I thought i should some how make it today. I rushed myself and just managed to squeeze between the closing gates.

"Galbaski" , yes thats the name of the plays name. I have never heard about it earlier, I was even not sure which language the play is until it started.

Sometimes these incidents in your life makes you realize that we should look out and start reading these signs which confronts you very often, may be thats what even Paulo coelho mentioned in his writings.

I was glad that I made it for such a wonderful, thought provoking play. It was really worth for the strain and effort I took in getting there for the play. The play revolves around the life of a prostitute and the way society uses her. The highlight of the play is the character "Mirror". The author is very talented in letting out his message through a common mirror. Everyone likes to see themselves in the mirror but what we see in mirror is not what exactly we are, but the mask we carry upon us.

The play was very well scripted and the Hindustani alap rendered by a young singer was so soothing that most of the time I was watching him singing rather than play. His voice had so much power that, even though it was in the backdrop it was highlighted.

Details:
Play: Galbaski
Playwright: Coffee Raghavendra
Director: KSDL Chandru
Troupe: Roopantara, Bengaluru

I just remembered a Zen meditation which talks about healing powers of mirror. It says if we stand naked in front of the mirror every day for few minutes then we get cleansed naturally without any effort because there is so much power in nakedness and its difficult to watch complete nakedness.

Below is one of my experiments with nakedness.

Besuge- The bonding ...

You always feel good if someone you know make it big. Yes yesterday was one of those moments when two of my friends came up with a musical album of their own. Even though I was an uninvited guest at the occasion I really enjoyed a lot seeing their dreams come true. I know how much effort and sacrifices they did to get where they are now.

It’s really inspiring to see them doing something on their own and releasing to the world. It’s almost year and a half that I know Arun & Surya, the very meeting with them made me feel that they are really interested in music to the core. They keep proving my assumptions right by constantly doing some or the other thing in the field they have chosen.

Finally they have reached a milestone which is their start into a real fascinating & competitive journey. I am sure they will reach very great heights by their talent & unshaken discipline. I wish them a bright & joyful success for all their future projects.