Missing Fingers II - A Short Story

Continuation from part 1.

For me the whole world came to a halt because never a thought came into me till date of living without her. Everything went blank for me and for the first time my own house felt like a strangers place for me. I did not know what to do, I want to think but my mind did not allow me to. I slept on the mattress spread on the veranda with tears rolling down my cheeks and I woke after sometime daunted with the sounds of crackers outside and for the salty taste of my tears.

I wiped my eyes and slowly opened front door of the house, the door opened with a creak which usually make my teeth’s more sensitive. I always hated that sound but today it did not had any effect on me. I peeped through the half open door and found the road outside was filled with smoke from crackers and lot of noise. I felt why everyone so happy with Muni amma missing and making me orphan again.

I sat at the door step staring at the black smoke filled road expecting Muni amma to emerge from those smoke. I consoled myself that she might have gone out to get me the big car which she promised to gift me on Diwali. Hours rolled by and still there was no traces of her and my heart beat increased at a great pace with lot of thoughts flooding my head.

I have not seen her like that, she has never shouted on me even though I have asked that question lot of times earlier. Why is that she frowned on me so badly yesterday? Is that the reason why she deserted me like this? Lot of questions started grinding me and I was helpless. I said to myself that once she is back in my life, I would hold her fingers tight and never let it loose.

Even the sun went hiding behind the clouds. I slowly started walking towards the market road. I was enquiring for her with all the people I know but everyone responded similarly saying that they have not seen her. I knocked the doors of all the houses she worked and everyone complained that she has not turned to work today. The market clock struck four times and I was feeling dizzy and things were getting blurred as I was starving from morning. I just walked past the signal and rested myself below the big time square pillar hoping to find her. It looked as though the whole world celebrating the festival of lights and me lost my only light.

The traffic flow was heavy as it was a holiday and there was a huge rush at the traffic signals. There were so many people who make their living out of these signals. Some were begging and others trying to sell items to make their living. As I was looking at them my interest turned to these transsexuals commonly called as hijra’s. I had noticed that lot of people give money believing that hijra’s bring luck in their life.

As I was noticing them collecting money suddenly one of the hijra eyes connected with mine and she gave a gentle smile. That smile was very familiar to me but I could not recognize who the person was. I churned through my mind trying to figure out who the person was and finally got the answer. It was Shiju, Muni amma’s only friend. She has even taken me to his place couple of times but I wondered why Shiju has dressed like transsexual.

I recollected my senses and shouted his name to the top of my voice. He turned back and waved his hand asking me to come to him. The traffic light turned green and I could not cross the road as he was standing on the median between the two roads. I could not wait for the lights to turn red, I barged myself to the median without caring for the oncoming vehicles. I almost missed being hit by a car and reached the median.

Shiju scolded me, Are you mad that you rushed like this? Can’t you wait till the lights turn red? I thought to myself I don’t care even if i die all I want is my Muni amma.

I asked him, Where is Muni amma? I am searching for her from morning and not found her.

I know for sure that she might have told you where she will be because you are the only person who talks with her. Shiju told that he has last met her three days back and she did not tell anything about her leaving. My only hope of getting her back was lost when Shiju spelled out these words and I fall on the ground helplessly.

Shiju held me tight and consoled me saying “Maybe she might have gone for Narasipur”.

I have never heard of Narasipur before but I would go anywhere in the world to get her back. I pleaded Shiju to help me to go to Narasipur. Finally Shiju agreed to help me get a bus to Narasipur and before the bus left he told me to get down at the government hospital stop and walk towards the beach and try to look out for Muni amma.

As the bus started I was thinking about this place Narasipur, what a strange name it is. But all I wanted was to find her and get her back. With all these thoughts I slept and was only woken up by the conductor when hospital stop arrived.

It was drizzling when I got down the bus and the night was very dark without the moon. I could able to hear the waves splashing the shores and started walking towards the beach. As the beach came to my view I noticed that there was a huge gathering and fire was lit. As I neared the beach I could hear people singing and drums beats filling the whole air. There was lot of people dancing and praying to the god which was kept in the center. It was a strange celebration since all people gathered there were transsexuals and was dressed totally unusual.

I was breathing heavily and was feeling uncomfortable. I was searching for Muni amma and was also feeling why she would be here. Did Shiju lie to me? All around me people were cursing god for making them like this and crying out their heart. Even I was crying seeing all this and missing my Muni amma.

There finally I found my Muni amma, glad in red saree and white blouse. She has worn lot of ornaments and never had I seen her dressed like this. She had lot of flowers in her hair and was dancing to the drum beats. I wanted to run to her and hold her in my arms and ask her why she has deserted me.

But my legs were not moving and so were my lips. I had never seen her so happy and dancing in my whole life, I was thinking maybe this is the life she wanted to live but could not able to live all these days. I don’t want to get back into her life again and make her unhappy.

The sounds of the drum beats were raising, so were the waves in the ocean. I slowly started walking towards the waves thinking of those missing fingers which held my life all these while.