We think of options all the time in our lives. Our mind is so accustomed we cant think of anything without options. From the time we get up from our bed to the time we retire ourselves we face and decide upon so many options. We have options for dresses, option for what to eat, way to travel, which route to take to office, whether to work today or not, etc , etc ...
But when we are faced with an unpleasant circumstances or incidences our mind goes blank and we get into depression or bite by the emotional bug which blinds the minds vision completely. Why is that our mind goes astray and not equipped enough when faced with unexpected situations?.
Why is that our mind fears so much for each and every small damn things happening around us ? Why is that we been so much educated still can't handle unpredicted circumstances with calm mind ? What is that we all fear for ? What is fear in reality ? Is the fear the root cause for all our sufferings ? Can a human live with our fear ?.
Sometimes after the incident has taken place we realize why the hell i feared so much for such a small thing and wasted so much of my precious time.
Let us think for a moment, what is the worst thing that can happen to a human ? I think that would be DEATH. So if we overcome the fear of death then we have conquered the fear itself and then we can live the life to the fullest.
I developed an exercise for myself and the results seems to be really fruitful.
Think for moment what would you do if god appears before you and let you know that you will die tomorrow. Just imagine all that we feared and protected through out our life will be gone tomorrow by this time. You don't even know where and how you will be by this time tomorrow. All the relations, material things for which you have fought till date to secure for yourself will be left behind and you will be moved into some unknown territory.
All that you have now is two options. Option one is to be happy till you die and Option two is to be unhappy that you are going to die. I would rather prefer the first and live to the fullest before i die.
I feel if we lead life in a way that i will die tomorrow then you can live happily forever without any fear.
Very lately i had discussion with my near ones and at the end we stood facing each others back. When inquired both have their stances firm but when questioned with the other party they agreed that my argument is convincing but cannot be acceptable in this material world, Since we have to lead our lives in this society.
My only despair is that i cannot go about with the society's decision if the very decision is visibly incorrect and not acceptable for the current situation. May be that decision was wise and acceptable at a different time of era and crises but it cannot be applicable at present, because only thing that will change is the change which is an undeniable universal truth.
All the people close to me took a single stance stating that you were never been like this earlier. Why don't you go about with the societies decision and lead a happy life than to walk on your way and disrespect others. I always wondered what respect is all about? Is repect means that you don't inquire or don't ask questions and follow what the elders say to you, even if you visibliy feel that its not the truth.
I strongly belive that the mind which has strodden in the path of self inquriy will always lead in the right path, may its not acceptable by the material world. Because there exists no rule book in this universe which gives you the roadmap to live.
I love to share the below quotes from J.Krishanmurthy.
The mind that has really gone into all this, that has entered upon a pilgrimage of inquiry from which there is no return, that is inquiring not only now, during this hour, but from day to day - such a mind will have discovered a state of creation which is all existence. It is what you call truth or God. For that creation to take place, there must be complete aloneness - an aloneness in which there is no attachment, no companionship, either of words or thoughts or memories. It is a total denial of everything which the mind has invented for its own security.
The complete aloneness, in which there is no fear, has its own extraordinary beauty. It is a state of love because it is not the aloneness of reaction; it is a total negation, which is not the opposite of the positive. And, I think it is only in that state of creation that the mind is truly religious. Such a mind needs no meditation: it is itself the eternal. Such a mind is no longer seeking - not that it is satisfied, but it is no longer seeking because there is nothing to seek. It is a total thing, limitless, immeasurable, unnameable.
"Cosmos" , the mind becomes vibrant with the very word itself. I was always in complete disbelief when someone tells to me about their cosmic experiences. The way they communicate with the cosmos, the way how the universal power guides them and leads them to blissfulness.
I very recently watched an interview of A.R.Rehman, when asked how he gets his tunes ?. He replied with his usual smile that he does not know how he composes his songs, he hardly plans or has a scheme chalked out for any song before recording. Most of the time he just closes his eyes and the tunes flows from somewhere and makes his hands move on the piano. That is how till date he has composed so many melodies and he says that the energy just flows by itself. He explains that its just cosmic rays which concentrates within himself when he closes his eyes.
I would not have agreed and believed in his words if i had seen this interview may be few months before but now i totally trust his words. Very recently even i had been experiencing these strange happenings with me, out of no where you when you are watching some soap on tv or talking with someone or just listening to some song or involved with your day to day activities all of a sudden some things strikes you out of now where. There is some message passed onto you which is out of the box, the very message has any relation to the context you are in. But when analyzed the message conveyed is real truth or a fact very much agreeable.
It made me think, why is that so many messages are been passed onto me. Is there anything behind all these activities occurring around me? Is there any super natural power as they claim working on the backstage. But when analyzed something striked me which was finally convincing to me.
Its the very mind of me playing the soothing music from the background, its now so conditioned that it wanted to taste those super natural powers. But one thing is for sure that you tend to receive lot of support from the events happening around you when you completely understand yourself and being aware.
May be this awareness within develops an ability to view the world as it exists without any emotional filters attached and may be this is what they call as "Cosmic connection".
So finally all that exists around you is only you.
I just met a CEO of a company for some business talks and during the discussion he suggested me on this book called "Stay Hungry Stay Foolish" by Rashmi Bansal. He mentioned the author's effort is really worthy as she has succeeded in capturing the case studies of 25 IIM Ahmedabad grads who choose to carve a path for themselves in this competitive world.
The books is real a boost for lot of budding entrepreneurs. There is a section which interviews the entrepreneur himself, who depicts the story behind their success. Its so thought provoking to read through their ups and downs in getting to the place where they stand now. Its never a cake walk, to get to those beautiful roses they should have faced so many thorns.But its there passion, dedication and rock steady desire to get there finally, got them what they want.
After reading through these stories my mind spawned a new thread called "entrepreneurs" and would get it active each and every chance it got to execute it in a typical round robin fashion. When this tread became active it identifies and observes the entrepreneurs around me.
Recently i identified a entrepreneur just in front of my home. He usually drops to my home every Saturday and later came to know that he is indeed a very busy person and has different areas charted out in his organizer for each day of the week.
I was really amazed when he explained his business plans and his road map to success. His ROI (Return on Investment) is very much a safe bet and returns usually turns out to be more than 100%. All his assets are his second hand flute, pipe and a old cow. He had given an aesthetic look to his cow by spending few hundreds by covering it with a decently decorated embroidery cloth.
Out of curiosity i drafted a rough estimate on this days turnover. Let us brush away the dust in our brains.
There is around 80 houses houses in our road alone and in case even if 10 people in our road offers him minimum of 1 rupee each and if he covers around minimum of 30 more roads each day then he is left with 300 rupees. His monthly turnover would be 9000 rupees with 0% income tax. Its a pretty decent salary for a part time job like that with ample time for entertainment which most of us can't afford to during these days.
I was really pissed very lately because there is no other talk except Recession every where i go. I wonder sometimes why people are so much feared and why is that this word made so much impact very lately even though we have faced them lot of times earlier. But when you deeply look into it there are still lot of people who makes use of these times and come out in great colors.
Money is spread out everywhere only people who strive for it at the right moment will grab it and the right moment comes for those who tries every moment.
Its very difficult to deliver exactly the same message into the other person in front of you. If you are succeeded in that then you are master of your life to a great extent. Because all issues and sorrows in life is because of lack of communication.
I had varied feedback on my new storyMissing Fingersand few understood exactly what i intended to convey in the story. Hence its a long way for me to learn the art of conveying :) the exact message easily to others.
I am penning down gist of the story for those who felt that the story is too lengthy and took a wise decision of not reading it :)
The story revolves around the life of a young transsexual women (M2F), who adopts a orphan baby boy and sacrifices her usual life style in order to bring up the child in the normal environment. She showers all the love in the world on this child and even the child never thinks of a life without her.
She subdues all her pleasures that she wants in life in up bring the child and finally decides to leave him when she feels he is capable of leading a life of his own. In the end even the child understands and respect the love she has shown by allowing her to lead the life she wanted.
The story also tries to tell that mothers love is not just bonded with only the mother who gives birth but it is with all those people who showers love without conditions attached.
For me the whole world came to a halt because never a thought came into me till date of living without her. Everything went blank for me and for the first time my own house felt like a strangers place for me. I did not know what to do, I want to think but my mind did not allow me to. I slept on the mattress spread on the veranda with tears rolling down my cheeks and I woke after sometime daunted with the sounds of crackers outside and for the salty taste of my tears.
I wiped my eyes and slowly opened front door of the house, the door opened with a creak which usually make my teeth’s more sensitive. I always hated that sound but today it did not had any effect on me. I peeped through the half open door and found the road outside was filled with smoke from crackers and lot of noise. I felt why everyone so happy with Muni amma missing and making me orphan again.
I sat at the door step staring at the black smoke filled road expecting Muni amma to emerge from those smoke. I consoled myself that she might have gone out to get me the big car which she promised to gift me on Diwali.Hours rolled by and still there was no traces of her and my heart beat increased at a great pace with lot of thoughts flooding my head.
I have not seen her like that, she has never shouted on me even though I have asked that question lot of times earlier. Why is that she frowned on me so badly yesterday? Is that the reason why she deserted me like this? Lot of questions started grinding me and I was helpless. I said to myself that once she is back in my life, I would hold her fingers tight and never let it loose.
Even the sun went hiding behind the clouds. I slowly started walking towards the market road. I was enquiring for her with all the people I know but everyone responded similarly saying that they have not seen her. I knocked the doors of all the houses she worked and everyone complained that she has not turned to work today. The market clock struck four times and I was feeling dizzy and things were getting blurred as I was starving from morning. I just walked past the signal and rested myself below the big time square pillar hoping to find her. It looked as though the whole world celebrating the festival of lights and me lost my only light.
The traffic flow was heavy as it was a holiday and there was a huge rush at the traffic signals. There were so many people who make their living out of these signals. Some were begging and others trying to sell items to make their living. As I was looking at them my interest turned to these transsexuals commonly called as hijra’s. I had noticed that lot of people give money believing that hijra’s bring luck in their life.
As I was noticing them collecting money suddenly one of the hijra eyes connected with mine and she gave a gentle smile. That smile was very familiar to me but I could not recognize who the person was. I churned through my mind trying to figure out who the person was and finally got the answer. It was Shiju, Muni amma’s only friend. She has even taken me to his place couple of times but I wondered why Shiju has dressed like transsexual.
I recollected my senses and shouted his name to the top of my voice. He turned back and waved his hand asking me to come to him. The traffic light turned green and I could not cross the road as he was standing on the median between the two roads. I could not wait for the lights to turn red, I barged myself to the median without caring for the oncoming vehicles. I almost missed being hit by a car and reached the median.
Shiju scolded me, Are you mad that you rushed like this? Can’t you wait till the lights turn red? I thought to myself I don’t care even if i die all I want is my Muni amma.
I asked him, Where is Muni amma?I am searching for her from morning and not found her.
I know for sure that she might have told you where she will be because you are the only person who talks with her. Shiju told that he has last met her three days back and she did not tell anything about her leaving. My only hope of getting her back was lost when Shiju spelled out these words and I fall on the ground helplessly.
Shiju held me tight and consoled me saying “Maybe she might have gone for Narasipur”.
I have never heard of Narasipur before but I would go anywhere in the world to get her back. I pleaded Shiju to help me to go to Narasipur. Finally Shiju agreed to help me get a bus to Narasipur and before the bus left he told me to get down at the government hospital stop and walk towards the beach and try to look out for Muni amma.
As the bus started I was thinking about this place Narasipur, what a strange name it is. But all I wanted was to find her and get her back. With all these thoughts I slept and was only woken up by the conductor when hospital stop arrived.
It was drizzling when I got down the bus and the night was very dark without the moon. I could able to hear the waves splashing the shores and started walking towards the beach. As the beach came to my view I noticed that there was a huge gathering and fire was lit. As I neared the beach I could hear people singing and drums beats filling the whole air. There was lot of people dancing and praying to the god which was kept in the center. It was a strange celebration since all people gathered there were transsexuals and was dressed totally unusual.
I was breathing heavily and was feeling uncomfortable. I was searching for Muni amma and was also feeling why she would be here.Did Shiju lie to me? All around me people were cursing god for making them like this and crying out their heart. Even I was crying seeing all this and missing my Muni amma.
There finally I found my Muni amma, glad in red saree and white blouse. She has worn lot of ornaments and never had I seen her dressed like this.She had lot of flowers in her hair and was dancing to the drum beats. I wanted to run to her and hold her in my arms and ask her why she has deserted me.
But my legs were not moving and so were my lips. I had never seen her so happy and dancing in my whole life, I was thinking maybe this is the life she wanted to live but could not able to live all these days. I don’t want to get back into her life again and make her unhappy.
The sounds of the drum beats were raising, so were the waves in the ocean. I slowly started walking towards the waves thinking of those missing fingers which held my life all these while.
My whole world revolved around her, i used to hold her last two fingers always while we were traveling in bus or while i was sleeping. Her fingers used to be so part of my being without it i felt so aghast and would wonder how my life will be if those fingers went missing. The very thought of it would make my whole body shiver.
My day starts and ends looking at her face. She used to wake me up and would always sleep after i slept and hence i don't get an image of her sleeping however hard i try. She would make me sleep with great stories which always had a happy ending and the people in the stories are filthy rich. May be she wants me have a luxurious life style at least in my dreams.
I did not know how to count numbers or else i would have told how many houses she worked as a maid. All i remember was her day starts and ends with work nothing else. She used to take me to all the houses she worked. She used to make to sit in a corner with the food given to her and by the time i finish the food she would have finished the house hold work. She was so happy seeing me eating and it never occurred to me that i should share the food with her.
I used to watch the other kids in the houses she worked playing with those costly toys and would ask Muni amma to buy me those and she would never reject my requests. She would always promise me that this Diwali she would get a bonus and would definitely get me the big car i always asked for. Every day i would ask the same question and she would answer with the same smile on her face.
She never made me feel that i am an orphan and she is my adopted mother unless Ponni told the other day. I remember how much she wept that day when Ponni broke this news to me. She held me tight all through night and told me not to listen to others and i am born to her. I can still hear her sobbing whole night wrapping me in her arms.
I don't remember when i cried last because she was always there for me with all that i wanted. I had hardly seen her crying and grumbling about poverty. Only thing i always wondered was why is that she never talks about father. Whenever i ask her about him she would say i will let you know when time comes and you are old enough to understand. I would leave it at that thinking she is right and i am still very young.
Everything was so well for me until I woke up that Diwali morning. It was the nightmare that i always feared the most, it was the last thing I wanted in my life. The very fingers which i always felt part of my being were missing when I opened my eyes for the sounds of the crackers entering my room from the ventilator. I searched the whole house in despair just to find out she is not there anywhere.
Its all started when my 31/2 years old niece Lakshmi want to go for swimming. She had always dreamed of swimming and would get so excited when she would watch someone swimming. She would imitate them by making actions of swimming lying on the floor.
She would ask so many questions to me on how to swim ? what would be the color of water in the swimming pool ? I don't like it to be blue color can we turn them to pink when we go for swimming and so many more questions flooded when she has thoughts of swimming flowing in her mind.
Yesterday was the day her dream came true.
She woke up early yesterday and walked into my room asking "Mama, will you take me to swimming today ?". These were the first words that came out of her lovely lips. I thought to myself maybe she might have been dreaming of swimming last night. I felt i should take her today its too much of a wait for her.
Myself , Lakshmi and whole family finally landed ourselves in country club by afternoon. On the way she had so many questions on swimming pool. "Mama, will there be water in the pool today ? Will be there fishes in the pool ? Can i mix my water colors in the pool before i get into it ? I would like to swim with the fishes and on and on.
When we walked near the pool, she was so much excited seeing children playing in the water. She wanted to jump into water immediately, she got dressed in a flash and went to the pool all by herself. She was strolling in the blue water contended and happy that her dream of swimming has finally come true.
She slipped and finally landed herself upside down in the water. As the fluid rushed through her nostrils her joy of swimming also washed out from her heart. She has got her first water phobia attack and the very next moment she wanted to be out of water. It took us a lot of effort to get her back into water and finally she started to play again but still with little bit of phobia left behind.
All of us dream like Lakshmi to do the things which we have not done in our lives. We draft out so many plans on what/how i should do to get there. We visualize, feel and literally live in our dreams of what we want to have or how we should be when we are there. But when the moment awaited comes before us and if some unpleasant incident happens, our dreams gets shattered then the very experience becomes awful.
These first time experiences always has a permanent place in our brains. Once registered the brain always references these records when a similar circumstance is confronted and since the first experience is unpleasant its very difficult to have a fresh look into the new situation.
The quote "First experience is the last experience" remains forever if we don't understand the working of our mind to the core.
But i am glad that Lakshmi could able to get over her phobia so easily because her mind is not yet conditioned as us.
I am writing these lines with out knowing what to write. I wanted to write something today on the blog but i don't know on what subject should i write. Generally i write on things i observe surrounding me or on subject on which i had come across very recently.
Today i have met few of my friends and relatives and had lot of discussions but still when i sat down to write down something i don't find anything interesting. This is one of those days wherein you would have done lot of things but at the end of the day you feel you have not done anything.
Its a strange responsibility to own a blog of your own, its like owning your own company and you being the CEO. Nobody questions you and you don't need to answer anybody but still you feel more proactive in keeping your blog alive. You feel something is missing today when you don't post anything, may be as days rolls by slowly this interest may also fades out.
This very interest within always keeps your eye and ear open for things to write for today, it makes you more attentive and let you observe things in detail. You feel good that you have learned something by these observations and self expressions, you realize that the cosmos is opened up for you and teaches you a totally new view of looking at thing around you.
You suddenly wonder how i was missing so many things in my life which was happening all this while, never noticed so many details around me. Once this realized the cosmos starts communicating with you in each and everything you do.
Good that i found something finally to write out of nothing :)
This is one place in the whole universe where in every one finds solace and gives you a feeling of @ home. There is no faking to the self and everyone sees themselves at face value. The very place where you see the naked truth without any filters attached which realizes that we are just animals with little bit of intellectual reasoning powers nothing more than that.
The place is much holier than any place on the universe because we get realized that to get anything we have to give something. Life is not one way and there is more pleasure when you give something and this makes way for the lighter things to come within you.
This is a place of high powers wherein you go for meditation for hours together and come out with a new fresh love bubbling within yourself. When there is so much noise in the whole world around you and you hit a dead end, only this world can give you so much of self space and helps you to come out of noise with soothing music which dilutes the obstacles surrounding you.
The very seat of this world is filled to the brim with creativeness and freshness that it helps to explore the untrodden paths and come out with fresh ideas and solutions. Its the seat of high intellectual powers. But we don't realize the importance and powers of this seat and instead its the most neglected place in most of the homes.
Its the most adorable place of mine in the whole universe and respect it with coining a new name called "Jnana Peeta".
I always had a special fascination for this marvelous invention, the history of this machines dates to mythological ages. As life evolved this time machine also evolved rapidly with inventors making it look much more appealing and interesting.
As a child i always dreamed of possessing one for myself. It is one of those wealth every one loves to posses because it gets you to the movement you wish to be. Before even my final exams were started i would start dreaming about how i should spend my vacations at my grandpa's house. I would always want to have those time machines which was shown in movies in my very own hands, so that with the click of a button or tying the lovely instrument to you wrist would take me to the places of my choice and time frame.
Everyone of us love to dream, we dream when we are asleep and we dream even when awake. So the thoughts (dream) is always there within us till the very source of thought gets destroyed. Its a perpetuating machine.
I strongly believed that there existed no time machines in this universe but very recently got to believe that there exists a time machine in each one of us. With this time machine we have an option to fly to any place and time frame of our choices.
Isn't the Time Machine really a wonderful creation !
Every one wants to settle down in life, but what is that settlement ? I always had this question popped up in my head when my elders say to me get settled in life first and then you can do all the things you want to do. But i always wonder how can i do the things which i want to do now after settling down. You settle down only after you are done with things, you settle down basically to rest hence to settle basically you have to live to fullest.
One of the highlighted things in settling down list is marriage. I just got a forwarded mail from someone i hardly know, generally i don't even open most of the forward mails i get, unless their subject is catchy. The subject of this mail reads "Bangalore arranged marriage gone totally wild!".
I thought i would be a very serious article or video clip but it turned out to be well scripted shortly play and entertaining. Good there are lot of newbies just want to try out something like this :).
We think of options all the time in our lives. Our mind is so accustomed we cant think of anything without options. From the time we get up from our bed to the time we retire ourselves we face and decide upon so many options. We have options for dresses, option for what to eat, way to travel, which route to take to office, whether to work today or not, etc , etc ...
